i’m learning to fly, but i ain’t got wings…

I’ve been getting worked up lately on issues of social justice. International development. How we live. How I live. How we give. How things are done. The means. Being effective. Substance versus a flashy exterior. Questioning everything. How christians seem to largely blend in within our culture. Cultural chameleons. What was jesus really saying? Does anyone even want to really talk about it?

I am unsettled. Uncomfortable. Wrestling. Personally, and yet with the world…

I want to be right…in what I believe, how I live. And in some ways I think I am. And I want others to agree with me, to join me. Yet in others, I have no idea.

But sitting here at work in the middle of who knows what random task, the phrase, “I must be about my father’s business,” just came to mind.

I stopped.

What is my Father’s business? He’s not out to make people realize how “right” he was. I’m obviously pretty concerned about that right now.

I’m getting all worked up. Almost daily. With no resoultion. Sometimes quickly searching the bible, asking a few people around me questions,  ranting to others.

And then last night, a friend says…the difference between our faith in Christ and every other religion are the words “Do” and “Done”.

Jesus said “It is finished.”

That means there is nothing I, we, you have to do. Now. Ever. In our lives.

Be free.

And because of that, we GET to do things. Our connection to and relationship with God is not dependent on what we DO.

We GET the opportunity to be generous and mirror our faith, our heart, His heart. We GET to have peace. Acceptance. Life to the full. And in that, we GET serve others, to put them first. To help people. To love. To be creative, live creatively. Dream. Get to, get to, get to…shine, shine, shine.

Get it, ERIN?

So I guess it doesn’t matter how right I am. I mean, I think I should still think, chew on, process, pray about, seek, try to figure out…not only my opinions, but how I am supposed to live. Me. The unique life that God is calling me to. Etc, etc.

And I have to make it soak in that it doesn’t matter what other people are doing. This is my journey. What is right for me. God will take care of others, everything else. He just wants to do this journey with me. Let it all go, Erin…

So hm. To try not to keep control…to try not to be a vigilante for my “right”. But to be about my Father’s business.

Lord help me to settle into grace, this truth.

What is this business?

Be free, dear friends.

And let all things flow from this place…

Hill of Crosses in Siauliai, Lithuania


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